How people see their pastoral leaders

Early in my pastoral ministry, I was called “Mr Nice Guy.” It is true that from early childhood, I had been groomed to be interminably nice. I would be safe if I modelled perfect behaviour. I guess as I grew I wore a little of this mantle, like a veil of self-protection; besides, it meant I could please most people. Who ever gets offended by someone who's perennially nice?

However, I received a personal challenge followed by a Holy Spirit nudge, and that all changed.

My learnings in this journey were quite dramatic. If you are looking for a nice, easy path towards retirement, I suggest you don't choose pastoring. It's not all tea and scones as we visit old ladies and sit on their comfortable sofas. To pastor any local church requires a close, personal intimate walk with God, leaning into Him so as to hear His voice, then responding out of that. People will get to see the “fire in our belly.” But know that a prophet isn't always “honoured in His home town” (Mark 6:4).

I remember one Sunday. I was taking the washing off the line, after church. A person came suddenly in my sight and began to rage at me: “How dare you use personal information you had about my family, then use your sermon to have a go at them?” I calmly assured him that I did not know what he was talking about but nothing I could say would dissuade or appease his anger. He still left my address, all stormed up. I remain totally at a loss to understand what he was referring to — one, because I didn't have any special information on his family ; and two, because that is not my style.

For those in ministry, they may broaden their shoulders but the accusations will continue, and the sting remains.

A new song

I learned along the way that pastoring calls for the hard tasks of preaching what needs to be said, of dealing as a father deals with his own children. This will include encouraging, comforting (as we know, the main thrust of all ministry), but also urging the hearers to live lives worthy of God, Who calls us into His kingdom and glory (1 Thessalonians 2:11,12). In my own case it has meant being drawn into situations of domestic violence and extreme sexual abuse. How are we to respond to these situations? Jesus speaking of John said, “What then did you go out to see? Someone dressed in soft robes?” (Matthew 11:8, NRSV).

I suspect that I never fully won the trust or confidence of a number in a church family which had amalgamated with the church I was pastoring after they had been badly let down by their previous pastor.

Along the way, yes, some may become infuriated with us. Why? Because get any group together and at some stage, their wounds, their neediness, their personal agendas will all get in the way. Sheep bite when they're hurt or afraid. I do not need to bear the burden of that. Yet it helps to be aware of it. The preacher will pick up everyone's projections and their transferences towards authority figures that have played out badly in their own lives. The pastor/teacher (Ephesians 4:11) is not responsible for others' pathology or their intra-psychic healing. Nor are the elders or church leaders. God can't please everybody. What makes us think we will?

In church life, as in personal life, our key to moving forward remains Proverbs 3:5,6:

• trust we have heard from the Lord
• then we don't lean on our own understanding or interpretation of the situation
• acknowledge Him in everything we are about to say or do
• believe He will make the way clear, to move forward and do what needs to be done.

I simply preach in the energy and liberty of the Spirit
1 Peter 4:11

And I don't have to question myself if someone wants to suggest I was hitting at them in the message. I trusted Him for the message, didn't I? I simply preach in the energy and liberty of the Spirit (1 Peter 4:11). I can trust Him for the outcomes. Let the Spirit's finger fall where it will. It is His responsibility and His alone, as He makes our way clear and our paths straight. R.C.Sproul has said, we are responsible for ministering God's Word, not for what comes from it.

I have found comfort in the suggestion by at least one commentator (Don Carson), that the seven stars in Jesus' right hand (Revelation 1:16) equate with the seven angels of the seven churches to whom John was writing, it is evident from the context that these were not actual angels — although there is much angel theology in Revelation — but the spiritual leadership in these churches. Imagine if every pastor, preacher, church leader or elder understood themselves as held in the nail-pierced hand of Jesus. We carry His message, we represent Him and we are held in His great hand.